Drowning Lessons
by homocupcakes
Summary: Being in a different school to your Super Best Friend is never easy, and it seems to having a strange effect on Stan and Kyle. Join our two favourite South Parkers as they discover themselves, each other, and what the real world has in store for them. M/M
1. Chapter 1

**GreedyEmo: **My very first actual South Park Fic! Hoorah!

**James: **Red? You do know what time it is right?

**GreedyEmo: **1:35?

**Ryan: **And you do know you have an exam tomorrow right... well, today actually?

**GreedyEmo: **Yeah... what's your point?

**James: **Dude, just last week you were sat in the corner having a panic attack over how you're gonna fail this Physics exam.

**Jade: **Guys? You do realise that you're having a pointless conversation while the fans are waiting to read the story right?

**GreedyEmo: ***rubs neck* hehe... sorry. Erm... read on...?

**Just a quick bit of background info. Kyle and the other boys are about 14 here, so about 8th grade? I wanted to make them older so they'd understand more about sex and relationships but young enough to still have a sense of naivety. Also, Stan and Kyle (as well as anyother pairing I decide to throw in here) will be in, what I like to call, a "progressive relationship"; meaning that they won't just tell each other that they like each other and then suddenly decide to be all romantic and hand-holdy; this story is also about _coming to terms_ with sexuality, emotional confusion, and just growing up in general, the things that I write in this fic are very real-life situations, which can, and most-likely, _will_ happen, to you or someone you know. **

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><p>Kyle nibbled on the fraying edge of his jumper sleeve, deep in thought. A quick glance up at the clock told him it was 2:45; school would be letting out soon. He turned his attention back to the board at the front of the classroom and wrote down notes on whatever the teacher was saying.<p>

After seeing his straight-A grades, Principle Victoria reccommended that Kyle enter for a place at a private school on scholarship. His mother had, of course, jumped at the idea and Kyle soon found himself sitting with a bunch of straight-laced, over-acheiving, future businessmen and women of America. They weren't snobs and didn't care whether or not Kyle owned fancy cars like Token's family, or cleaned dishes for a living like Kenny's. These kids were here for one purpose; to use their brains and talent to succeed in everything they attempt, regardless of social background.

In that way, Kyle preferred Denver Academy, to his old middle school. Sure it meant that he had to get up extra early to catch the bus into Denver from his home back in South Park, but if it meant he was away from the fat piece of shit that was Eric Cartman, hell, he would walk to the fucking Sun and back.

Glancing back up at the clock he sighed. 2:50. Would school never end? He wasn't usually so agitated to get out of school, but it was Friday and he and Stan agreed to meet up at Stark's Pond. Between homework and being exhausted from the long journey each day, there wasn't much chance to catch up with him outside of texting him. That was one of the things that made these weekly meetings extra special; they would meet up, talk about how their week had been, then Stan would ask if Kyle made any knew friends yet, to which Kyle would reply,

"Why would I need new friends when I've already got my Super Best Friend?" Then they would both laugh about how corny it sounded before sitting and just hanging out until the sunset.

Kyle allowed a small smile to show on his face at the thought of being able to just goof of and not worry about anything, before being snapped out of his thoughts by the school bell. The children left without dismissal and as soon as Kyle left the classroom he had his phone out ready to text his best friend. He looked down at the screen and smiled again; it appeared Stan had beaten him to it. The smile only lasted a brief while however when Kyle read the message.

_Can't make it today. Got a date with Wendy. See ya next week? -Stan_

Kyle stared at his phone for a few minutes trying to find some cryptic message behind it that would suggest that it was a joke, or another text saying he was just kidding. He finally gave up in order to reply.

_That's cool. Got a ton of homework anyway. -Kyle_

This was a lie of course. The teachers at this school believed in actually giving student's a break over the weekend and therefore, didn't asign them any tasks. With a loud sigh, Kyle slipped the phone back in his pocket and set off for the bus stop, feelings of rejection poking at his heart.

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><p><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>Well, what did you guys think. I personally think it was kind of busy and I think I explained too much about the situation. I don't know, do you guys like the lack of dialogue or is it just dragging. Should it have been longer and included the next part or is that a good place to stop the chapter. Is it-

**Jade: **Will somebody shut him up before he re-writes the whole fucking thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**GreedyEmo: **Well, I sat at my laptop for over an hour, listening the End of Silence album on repeat, and I finally churned out this garbage.

**James: **What he means is, he put a lot of though into every single word of this chapter and totally didn't just type it up just to take his mind of the boy he likes having a girlfriend.

**GreedyEmo: **James, too much. Urgh, anyway, enjoy this crap, if you can that is.

**Ryan: **Thanks to **MegaUltraSuper**, **WxTxR**, and **bloodythorn16 **for reviewing, and thanks to everyone who's subscribed so far.

**When you're in Middle school (or High school if you're a Brit like me), no matter how nice or sincere a boy tries to be when he's breaking up with a girl, the girl's friends will always have some sort of vendetta against him. In their eyes, the boy who dumped their friend is the scum of the earth, heartless as... well, a heartless (Kingdom Hearts reference), and as stupid as shit. I've learned this from personal experience on both sides, the friend of the "dumper" and the friend of the "victim". It normally isn't settled until the "dumper" explains to the friends -who really have no business in their relationship- exactly why he broke up with the "victim", which is pretty difficult considering the friends are pretty much ignorant to everything when the "victim"'s relationship status is concerned.**

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><p>Stan sighed against the glass of the old, beat-up school bus. He turned to look at Wendy in the seat next to him. What was she talking about again? Something about that new girl and how her hair was obviously fake. He sighed again and checked his phone. 3:15. Kyle would still be one his way home right now, alone. He was half-tempted to text him and strike up a conversation but even he could sense the awkwardness in Kyle's reply to his last message.<p>

"Stan? Stan. Stan are you even listening to me?" Stan looked up to meet the angry gaze of his girlfriend.

"Yeah... of course..." He scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly.

"Well?" She said expectantly.

"Yeah, that new girl,such a bitch..." That seemed to settle Wendy.

"I know right. She thinks she's so amazing because she's a vegetarian and 'loves animals'. That leather jacket she wore today begs to differ!"

Stan took that as his cue to zone out again and continued to stare out the window. He vaguely noticed Wendy changing the subject to what she had planned for their date. Now that she mentioned it, he did want to ask her something.

"Hey Wendy?" he asked, "why did you want to go on a date today, instead of tomorrow."

Saturday was Stan and Wendy's usual 'Date Night', but Wendy had bounded up to Stan that afternoon and told him that a new restaraunt had opened and he should pick her up at 7, before walking away to go meet up with Bebe. That was it. She didn't ask if he was free, or if he had any plans.

"I told you," she said, slowly, "that new restaraunt opens tonight, I wanted to try it out."

"Well, we still could have gone tomorrow. I had plans..." He mumbled the last part, not wanting her to hear that he'd rather spend his Friday nights with Kyle at the pond then sit in a stuffy old restaraunt where he'd have to struggle not to fall asleep from the quiet murmers of the other diners.

"Why didn't you say so? I didn't want to interrupt your free time."

"I didn't get a chance to, you walked away before I could." He spoke louder this time.

"You didn't even try to talk. You know Stan, sometimes I think I'm the only one committed to this relationship."

"Why; because _I_ had to cancel my usual plans to meet with Kyle, which I've been doing since he first moved schools, to go on a date that _you_ stuck me in?" He didn't even bother to stay quiet didn't care though, his classmates were used to Stan and Wendy's fights.

"Oh I'm sorry that I, your _girlfriend_, am getting in the way of your _social life_. I mean, you barely see Kyle anyway, what does it matter if you miss out one of your little 'bro-dates'?" Wendy's voice, dripping with sarcasm, turned icy.

"It's _because_ I don't see him at all!" Stan stressed.

"Forget it Stan, clearly I'm not important enough for Kyle's schedule!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Isn't it obvious? Kyle's got you on such a tight leash; I'm surprised you're not texting him right now."

"We only see each other once a week. Am I not allowed to see my best friend now?" Wendy glared at him before sitting back angrily.

"You're not the only one making sacrifices; I had to cancel plans with Bebe and the girls for this!" Stan stared, trying to understand the situation.

"Dude," he said slowly, "you're the one who planned this date..."

Wendy stayed silent, glaring at her shoes.

"Maybe..." Stan said slowly. "We don't get along like we used to, and lately it's been getting worse. Maybe..."

Wendy looked up.

"What, exactly, are you getting at Stan?"

Stan swallowed and took a deep breath.

"Maybe... we should just break up..."

Wendy stood up, slamming her feet on the floor as she did.  
>"That, is the smartest thing you've said since I've known you," she said bitterly.<strong>*<strong>

She stalked off to go sit with her friends and started furiously whispering to them, shooting angry glares at him every few minutes.

"Jesus..." said Kenny, sitting down beside him, "what was all that?"

"Not now Kenny," Stan replied, tilting his head back and resting it on the top of the seat.

He couldn't help but feel a sense of relief and briefly wondered if it was too late to text Kyle and ask him if he could still meet up.

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><p><strong>*At this point I'd just like to point out that she wasn't bitter because they'd broken up, it was because <em>Stan<em> broke up with _her_, not the other way around.**

**GreedyEmo: **Yeah, got a little OOC at the end but they're fighting and they're older than canon so I figured it's okay.

**Jade: **He also just doesn't give a flying fuck right now.

**GreedyEmo: **I think it's time my OC's took a little nap right now because all they seem to be doing is making me look like a total douche bag. If it helps, I actually had to research stuff for this story, mainly the American school system and what they teach in each grade but whatevs. Review, or not.


	3. Chapter 3

**GreedyEmo:** It's so short! No seriously guys, I wanted to carry on but it seemed like a good place to finish this chapter. Also, I'd like to address something that someone brought to my attention, Yes, the name of the story comes from the My Chemical Romance song, no it's nothing to do with the metaphorical or literal meaning of the song. Okay, when people are talking about raising kids, they talk about stuff like swimming lessons, well, because the amount of intelligence in the adults of South Park is terrifying, it's more like they're giving them _drowning lessons, _so the kids have to teach themselves. You see.

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><p><strong>It's important to remember that, in this day-and-age, it's not uncommon for boys to act <em>more than friendly<em> to each other. This author personally knows two boys who refer to each other as "babe" and act like they're dating. It's an unquestionable show of friendship and a true testament to how confident some people are with their sexuality; that they can hug and hold hands without a single doubt about their sexual orientations, from themselves nor anyone else. It's admirable really. It's honest.**

Kyle picked at his food lazily, ignoring the questioning glances his parents were sending him.

"Kyle?" He glanced up at his dad before turning back to his food. "Is something wrong, son?" Kyle jumped slightly as his phone buzzed in his pocket. Fishing it out, a wide grin broke out across his face as he saw who the text was from.

_Hey. Too late to meet up? -Stan_

_No dude. But I thought you were with Wendy tonight? -Kyle_

_Shit went down. I'll tell you later. Starks Pond? -Stan_

_Cool. Be there in 10 -Kyle_

Kyle looked up at his parents, "No dad, everything's fine," he said, standing up to put his plate in the microwave.

"If you say so, where are you going?"

"To meet Stan; it's Friday, remember?" Kyle left the kitchen, kicking on his old, worn converse as he went.

"But what about your food?" came Sheila's voice.

"I'll eat later!" he called. Whatever his parents were going to say was lost on Kyle, as he'd already left the house and was walking down the street.

"Hey Stan" he said, jogging up to where his friend was sprawled out on the grass.

"Kyle!" Stan reached up to pull his friend down to sit with him. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Kyle finally cleared his throat.

"So..." he began awkwardly, "you and Wendy?" He asked, not really knowing what to say.

"We, er, we broke up... again." Muttered Stan. Kyle raised an eyebrow and looked at his friend curiously. "Well, actually, I broke up with her."

"Wow, really?" He asked, shocked that Stan had taken the initiative this time.

"Yeah, I think it's for good this time. It's just... It's not the same you know? It's not... It's like we just tolerate each other, there's no feeling any more." Stan layed back to watch the clouds, Kyle following suit.

"For good eh? Well, I'm happy for you Stan!"

"Hm?"

"Yeah, you and Wendy weren't working out, anyone could see that. Hell, _I_ could see that and I don't even see you two that often! To be honest, I think it's for the best."

"You think so?" asked Stan, nervously.

"Definitely" Kyle grinned. "Anyway, enough of this teen-sitcom bullshit, how've you been? Keeping up with your grades?"

Stan laughed, "God, you sound like my mom!" He put on a fake voice, "'Stanley Randal Marsh if you don't pick your grades up by next term I'll make you eat those god-damned test papers' I mean, what the fuck?"

Kyle scoffed, "Oh please, you think you're mom's bad? Mine's _Jewish_ and from Jersey. It's scary, man, fucking scary..."

"Come on, I've met your mom and, as crazy as she is, she can't be that bad." Stan retorted.

"Oh yeah? Ike got a 95 in a spelling test -I know right? He's like, 8- and I came home to find him crying over a 100 that I got. Apparently my mom told him that as long as I'm living in the house, Ike had to get the same or higher than I got."*****

"Wow dude, that's... pretty hard core... I've never known anyone to be like that about grades."

"I don't know, maybe it's a culture thing, you know, how asians are expected to get an A+ in everything?"******

Both boys shuddered at the thought of Mrs. Broflovski leaning over Ike, berating him for getting a less-than-perfect grade.

"No," Stan said, finally, "I think your mom's just crazy!"

"Shut up!" laughed Kyle, playfully nudging Stan. Stan pushed Kyle back, nearly knocking him over. Kyle feigned a hurt look, before tackling his friend, laughing loudly.

After a round of play-fighting, and several hours of good-natured banter, Stan stood up, noticing that the sun had set.

"I should head home," he said holding his hand out for Kyle to pull himself up with. Kyle stood up and crashed into Stan, underestimating his strength, who wrapped his free arm around the Jew to steady him. He let go of Kyle's hand and wrapped his other arm around him, pulling his friend into a hug. The two stood in comfortable silence before Stan sighed. "Kyle?"

"Yeah?" he whispered, trying to reign in his imagination to stop his hopes from getting too high. "You do have friends at that Denver school right?" Kyle let out an exasperated sigh, _'Always the same'_ he thought. "Why would I need new friends when I've already got my Super Best Friend?"

Stan laughed, "You're so fucking gay dude!"

"Yeah well, you love me really." Stan nodded. More silence. "Hey Kyle? Thanks for what you said about mine and Wendy's break up," said Stan, quietly.

"No problem dude," Kyle muttered, pulling away from the hug. "See ya!" He called, walking down the street, smiling at himself for not letting on the real reason for encouraging Stan to keep the break up permanent.

***Okay guys, before you rage at me, I'm not making Sheila a bitch, I personally know two people who's parents think like that. I know _my_ parents aren't like that, however much they pressure me to get good grades (School just isn't my thing).**  
><strong>**This one threw me for a loop, I kept wanting to put A* (British Grade) and I forgot that it was different in America OTL<strong>

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><p><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>So there it is guys. I know my update schedule is a little erratic (I dread to think of the many deaths that my **Not So Innocent **readers have thought up for me) but I hope it was worth the wait, however short it is. DON'T BLAME ME IT'S EXAM SEASON!


	4. Chapter 4

**GreedyEmo: **I wanted to wait till I got Chapter 5 finished before I posted this BUT I WAS SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT THE FACT THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE A CHAPTER TO UPLOAD AND SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN IT **ASDSLKHJRDFLK! **I actually do have the beginning of Chapter 5 done and I have a vague idea of where it's going but nothing is set in stone so... Regardless, you won't have to wait too long.

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><p><strong>Guys go to the mall or to town together all the fucking time. It's not gay, or stupid. But, in Kyle's case, it might just be a little gay. It's also been heard from a reliable source, that hipsters are hated by everyone but hipsters themselves, not just by the residents of Tumblr. <strong>

The usual sound of Randy and Sharon Marsh's morning shouting match woke Stan from his slumber. Memories of his dream assaulted him, disjointed images of what happened. The mental picture of a warm mouth against his own, tongues pressed together as a hand snaked its way down towards his crotch was like a slap in the face for Stan. He shot up gasping for air, images quickly fading as he tried to grasp a hold on reality.  
>Running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair, he became aware of a hardness pressing against his stomach. He pulled at the waistband of his boxers and sighed, climbing out of bed and heading towards the bathroom for a cold shower.<p>

"No Brandon I don't care what your Mom says I'm coming over today and that's final!" Stan cringed at Shelly's voice –_'New boyfriend' _he thought – and stepped back into his bedroom rubbing his hair with the towel. A beeping sound distracted him from dressing as he crossed the room to his phone.

_Good Morning Sunshine! Wanna hang out today? –Kyle _

Stan looked at the text, bemused, and was half-way through texting back to tell him that it was a Saturday A.K.A Date night, before remembering. _'Oh yeah,'_ he thought, _'no Wendy...' _He considered texting her for a minute, and apologising for the previous day when last night's conversation hit him. _'No. I'm done. No more Wendy.'_ He fired off a quick text to Kyle instead.

_Sure dude, when and where? –Stan_

_The Mall in an hour? –Kyle_

_I'll be there. –Stan_

The South Park mall, once a booming haven for all walks of life, had been reduced over time to something less extravagant; a Wal-Mart, and a Starbucks very close to being swallowed whole by the capacious KFC to its immediate left, made up the main circle, and was surrounded by less popular stores opened for the sole reason of the mayor being afraid of the kind of 'voodoo' the resident Goth Kids would do to her if they didn't have somewhere to stock up on black nail polish and affordable boots. It did its job, however, of attracting the throngs of overzealous shoppers looking for a cheap buy.

Stan stood outside American Apparel, a recent store to the area given that the vampire fad, which had slowly morphed into 'Scene Kids' and was now 'Hipster', was the new big thing. He grimaced as he avoided pastel-haired girls in short shorts (inappropriate for South Park's constant climate of below fucking zero) and blouses buttoned up all the way to the top, and what Stan assumed to be boys, decked out in cardigans, skinny jeans, and those gay-ass suede shoes that reminded him of the ones he was forced to wear to his elementary school leavers dance. As if the look couldn't get any more ridiculous, each and every outfit was completed with clip-on bowtie, braces, and giant fake glasses with no lenses. He shook his head at the sight, and pushed the sleeves of his old brown jacket up his arms, desperately hoping for Kyle to hurry up so he could get the fuck out of there.

As if he'd heard Stan's silent prayers, Kyle turned up 5 minutes later, apologising about not being able to get away from Ike and his 'homework problems', code for 'give me a reason to avoid Mom all day she's driving me crazy'. Stan grabbed his arm, cutting off his explanations, and quickly pulled him away from where he was waiting.

"Sorry dude; the crowd, you know?"

They walked in silence for a while, window shopping mostly, occasionally drifting into stores to browse video games, or CD's, chatting about what they'd just bought, and falling into silence again. They reached the inner circle where Stan asked if Kyle was hungry, gesturing to the KFC.

"Uh, sure," he nodded and followed Stan through the glass door.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence, guys." Kyle rolled his eyes and muttered a 'Jesus fucking Christ' to himself, before turning around and finding himself face-to-face with Eric Cartman.

"Hey guys," he said, waving to Kenny and Butters, who were stood in the background, silently apologising for Cartman, "what do you want Fatty, or are you just here to kiss the manager's ass for free gravy again?"

Kyle grinned as he saw the other tense up. "That was one time _Kahl_," he said, voice bordering on whining, "and it totally would have worked of those god-damn hippy protesters didn't show up!"*****

Kyle was about to retort but was interrupted by Stan returning with food. _'When did he even leave?'_

"Oh I see what's going on; now that little Peter's lost his Wendy he's decided to trade her in for a different model. _Very different _from what I can see." He laughed, glancing around to see if anyone else thought it was funny.

"Shut up Cartman," spat Kyle, taking a step forward and towering a good few inches over the fat boy.

"Now, now," he said, waving a condescending finger in Kyle's face. "Hell of a time to pick her Stan; they're always pissy when they're on their period."

"I _said_ shut the fuck up!"

"Testy isn't she? Tell me _Kylie, _how _does_ our Stanny fuck you with all that sand in your vagina?"

Kyle threw himself at Cartman, catching him off guard and sending both of them into a table, their combined weight making it creak. He punched the other square in the nose and pulled back his fist to get in another, when he felt something catch his arm. He stopped and looked back to see Stan pulling him off Cartman, as the other restaurant-goers watched in awe. He reluctantly let go of Cartman's shirt, which he had been using to keep him pinned to the table, and allowed Stan to pull him outside before the store manager showed up and had them arrested, Kenny and Butters following behind.

"Dude, what the fuck was that?" asked Kenny, looking at Kyle oddly.

"Sorry it's just… it's been a while since I've seen him and I… I guess I just forgot how much he pissed me off…" he trailed off at the end, hoping his friends would let it go.******

Stan shook his head as Kenny opened his mouth to speak. "Come on dude, you wanna go back to mine and play video games?" he asked, taking their bags and they're food from Butter's who had, thankfully, picked them up before they fled, and leading Kyle away after waving goodbye to his friends.

"So…" he began when they walked out the parking lot, "you wanna talk about what happened back there?"

"I already told you," he said shortly, mentally scolding himself immediately for snapping at him, "He just pissed me off."

Stan nodded but remained silent for the rest of the trip home, trusting that Kyle would tell him in his own time if something was up.

***Obviously Cartman didn't literally kiss the manager's arse; they're 14. I'm just using it figuratively.**

****Cartman already suspects what Kyle's big secret is and is purposely trying to push Kyle's buttons. Kyle knows this and that's why he attacked Cartman the way he did. BTW this isn't a spoiler because if you don't know what Kyle's 'big secret' is by now then I'm sorry for your brain.**

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><p><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>So I had no idea where the fight scene came from but suddenly it was in my head and it seemed like a really good idea because even though Cartman is hilarious, he's a douchebag and I thought it would be fun to make him some sort of minor antagonist in this. Nothing major don't worry. Also if you got the Peter Pan reference I love you because the Disney animated film and the 2003 live action release are my all time favourite films.


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